Home loan

I don't think we will ever have a home of our own. Am I ok with that? No. It's too frustratin to think that I had worked sooo hard, but still can't get on my feet. I'm praying Jeff will get a job. I've been putting him through school and it has been beyond hard for us both. He's working hard to find something, but it's not easy.

Packing

I hate everything about packing. My classroom is 60% done. My house is 40% done and wow.... I'm tired. I had to stay at school late to pack. Jeff, patch and I got shave-ice and dinner together and then I had to get back to packing. J said P kept calling, "mama!" As he tried to fall asleep. :( I can't wait until I can be home with him all day. Maybe one day.

 

Hmmm....

I was driving to work today full of gratitude for my sweet boy and husband. Life has been rough the past few months. Moving, jobs, no jobs, baby teething, sickness, regret etc. 

I get stressed. But today I didn't want to feel it. Pay visited yesterday. Random. Part for her but a lot for me. I'm grateful for the visit, even though we had to scour  Walmart for keys. 

Baby boy, you said dada today. Poppy is sooo proud. You also give hugs to teddy bears, you started crawling on Mother's Day and you love saying more using signs. Growing up so fast.

Today I had to teach you no and you felt bad. But you stopped hitting me after I showed you my mad face. The you got extra sweet. I really think you understand. 

I don't want to...

Pride gets in the way of soooo much peace, and it is a HUGE down fall of mine. 

Things to remember not to do or be like:

1. Not willing to ask for a blessing.

2. Not willing to get counsel from a bishop because, "I'm the one that shouldn't need that."

3. Not willing to listen in a church class because I think I know more.

4. Not willing to admit that I'm wrong and instead argue my way around things.

Things to remember:

1. Our wonderful ward.

2. The great example of the church leaders. 

3. Focusing on the youth in all areas.

4. Being loving and inviting all to have fun. 

5. Being humbled by young 14-18 year olds in my Sunday school class.

Job

I got a new job. We felt we needed to move. Felt good about Jeff receiving a job too...He didn't get it. Questioning what we thought we knew. Questioning what our answer was, questioning if we made the right decision. 

This is the scripture that came to my mind. 

Section 123

16 You know, brethren, that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves.

17 Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

 (D&C 123)